25.10.07

St. Augustine

Yesterday I wanted to restore a smile and only got silence. I tried to capture a memory, but it was already gone. I waited for you at the platform but the twilight came instead. Nothing is like before. Those lights do not shine as they did then, or the nights are everlasting, or the evenings magical, or your sight endless. Now everything is pointless. There is no fight, there is no finish line, there is no end, there is just being, remaining, waiting for that distinct event that marks the end of the apathy. The seas no longer wave, I do not find you around the corner, the rain does not get me wet, or I am afraid you are leaving. I do not wait for you, because now you are here, although I am aware you never are. I do not need you to talk to me to be able to listen to you, or to cry to know you are sad, or to tell me what you are thinking, because I already know it. Now that everything is dead I come to a funeral with neither guests nor tears. Yesterday was intense but painful and I do not want to revive it again. Maybe the lethargic calm is gray and thick. Maybe the memories are subjective selections of the best moments, and the worst, obvious. That is why is not good backing away and reopening wounds that were forgotten at the bottom of a shoe box. What is left, then? Which way do you take when you are aware that nothing will be what it was some day? I cannot stop and shout. I might get crazy, perhaps, go around myself until I, disoriented, collapse. I do not know, I do not care, who cares? In the end, I am nothing but a lost dot in the middle of the nothingness. My existence will not get out, no one cares about what happens to me because, seriously, I will not have an impact on their lives. And it is true, eventually nothing happens, no matter what happens, everything falls into oblivion sooner or later. Every wound heals and every pain mitigates, and I... I will simply die without anyone ever knowing that I once believed to be the reason to all. Go back to your stardust and whisper in my ear how much you needed me.


We have exceeded the established limits, we have opened all the forbidden doors. There are no new mysteries or adventures to live. We have walked every path without finding what we imagined once. Perhaps we have to take our sight out of focus, look down and look for it in that other place, where that warm distant evening at the fort we felt like gods and we started this journey. There, I will wait for you, with the same innocence, but with the wisdom that emanates from every scar. With an awaken mind and a calm heart. With longing, without fear, without judgement. Alone. Naked. Just us.

19.10.07

Meanings

- I...

- Don't! Don't tell me...

- What are you talking about?

- Don't till you explain me what it means to you...

- I...

- I'm tired of assuming, wishing it means the same it does to me... When it's not... That hurts... Here, deep...

11.10.07

Backwards

Red rose petals scattered on the dirty floor of an empty subway.

Two people.

A goodbye.

A shove.

A sight.

A rose sold by a street vendor.

A run away.

An I love you.

A tear.

An I'm sorry.

A couple.

8.10.07

Eclipse

- Dentro de unas horas será de día. ¿Te apetece salir a recibir el Sol a la playa?

- ¿Que quieres decir?

- Pues eso, que saldrá el Sol...

- ¿El Sol?

- Sí, el Sol.

- El Sol no volverá a salir.

- ¿Qué quieres decir?

- Pues eso, que el Sol no saldrá...

Bajó la cabeza y se dio la vuelta y caminó lentamente en dirección contraria a la ventana, donde ella permaneció inmóvil, dejándose acariciar por el reflejo de la ténue luz de la Luna en sus pupilas esperanza. Llegó a la cama y se dejó caer, resignado. Sólo entonces se dio cuenta de que su último amanecer había pasado ya, todo lo que le quedaba era esperar. Esperar y ahogar sus lágrimas de cocodrilo y la periodicidad de la Luna llena.

5.10.07

One way

- Hello!

- :x

- You look great! How are you doing?

- :x

- I'm fine. You know... A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Busy with work and trying to get things done. But lucky me, far from being stressed out. What about you? How's work going?

- :x

- We should meet some day and catch up. What do you say?

- :x

- Anyway, it's been great talking to you... I have to go now. Take care!

- :x

3.10.07

The Thinking Thing

- Oh! And, I'm in love!!!!

- Good! I remember the last time I saw you, you had just broken up with your boyfriend...

- Yes, that was a long time ago. He was crazy! I mean, really... This time is different. It is! He is the one I was looking for... Charles, is, the, one!

- Charles! I like the name... How did you met him?

- It just happened, actually! A couple of weeks ago... Isn't it funny? First day I meet him. Second day we exchange emails. Third day we exchange phone numbers. We're soul mates! We are... Fourth day we kiss! It was amazing...

- That's nothing else but a freaking ridiculous lucky movie... That's awesome...

- I, love him... He, loves me...

- What about the distance?

- I thought I was gonna be better about that... But, anyways... That's how it is! And I'm in no rush now. Distance is not forever... I know what I want... I want him!

- What about... What was his name?

- Oh! That's the past... He's in my class, though... Do you think I should tell Charles about that? I mean, he knows about him, I've told him everything about my past. He's told me everything about his, also. But I haven't told him that, should I? I don't think he'd like to know...

- Yeah... The whole thinking thing... Don't go there... Don't... Don't when you're in love...

*original picture by piscue

2.10.07

Time Scales

- Imagine...

- What?

- Imagine that we're nothing else but a virus, a cancer, or whatever you wanna call it, that has infected the Earth...

- Dude...

- That would make sense in cosmological time scales, wouldn't it?

- Dude...

- Maybe the dinosaurs were a previous plague...

- Dude...

- What?

- Do you listen to me?

- Why?

- I told you that a couple of months ago!

- Really? Oh... Yeah! Sure... Anyways, wouldn't be hypocritical... Imagine! A more intelligent extraterrestrial civilization that starts eating us... Wouldn't be hypocritical to reproach them that? I think it would...

- Dude...

- Wouldn't it?

- Whatever...