nonsense

All of a sudden there is nothing around me.
I am alone.
The office would be empty if it was not for me.
I should let it be.
But I cannot get away from here.
Here I feel safe.
Here the deafening sound of silence do not let me think about distances.
Here I feel as empty as the building.
Unaware of my existence.
I am afraid of myself, afraid of my epilogues.
I am hiding from what I would do next.
As I write this, my heart shrinks, tears arise.
I never thought sadness is something you can be addicted to.
I needed my dose.
I am a monster.
A monster to myself, to those around me.
To those that let themselves be vulnerable to break my walls.
Now the walls are broken.
The floor is sinking under my feet.
I fall inwards, deep and dark.
My eyes melt, but there is still a light I can see.
Distant, faint.
That bright is the only thing I can look forward to when I am no longer who I think I was.
That light is a flame.
That light is your love.